and I’m like MAN
man.
yeah I want to do it, and it sucks because I’m pretty sure I had shit lined out for it already. but I never had it properly written out.
my issue: come up with a shitton of ideas, decide to start writing at least twenty different threads, not be able to put any of it together
life is suffering and it feels bad to know that it’s been two years since I’ve updated that cursed fic and I know that my writing skills have only suffered for it :(((((((((((((((( I wonder if I’d end up disappointing people with my updates instead, not sure, but bad end
Also keeping in mind that I have not completed the CotL dlcs which means all of my headcanons are very out of date fml my life
but then it goes back to:
caring what other people want vs writing for myself and throwing it out there if others want to enjoy
and it’s just the whole getting it done part. and the whole connecting everything together part. and the whole trying not to make it perfection. because I want the wording to be correct, I want the wording to be precise, I want the phrasing to work the right way, and I know that my writing skills now are simply not up to par for that. l a m e
and believe me, commenter should you read this, I want to write this so bad. I’ve wanted to write it so bad. I have started stopped starting restarted decided to go about things a different way stopped again and now have just not gotten it done like many things I have done
maybe it’s depression, maybe it’s maybelline. maybe it’s the executive function which has only worsened to the point where it really might be burnout vs emotional fatigue
man, depression. yeah I’ve turned into more and more of a shutin since covid it kind of sucks but I mean, going outside is hard, interaction with people outside of work is hard….
ok enough grousing, I’m also halfway through my string of shifts. surely I might have some rest after it
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